


What Happens in the Cave

by CircleUp



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics)
Genre: M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Power Bottom Wade Wilson, Top Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-21 17:33:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20697359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CircleUp/pseuds/CircleUp
Summary: Deadpool and Iron Man get stuck in a cave and then say they aren't going to bang but (spoilers) totally do.





	What Happens in the Cave

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Soliloquize_94](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soliloquize_94/gifts).

"Well, fuck," Tony says.

The cavern collapse was a bad one. The last twelve hours had been spent fighting a gigantic octopus and its spawn in a series of underground caverns and half-flooded tunnels, which led to the Avengers breaking off into smaller and smaller teams.

"We can," Wade says.

Tony of course had gotten stuck with Deadpool. Of course. It had been going fine, up until it hadn't, and the cave collapsed around them, leaving them in a small cavern no bigger than eight feet at its largest point. The only thing keeping them from total darkness is Tony's suit, which he's still wearing.

"It'll get cold," Wade adds. He's explored already, they both have, testing out rocks and dirt, but anything loose threatens a further collapse. Tony doesn't want to risk it.

"We're not fucking for warmth," Tony says, which isn't something he'd ever thought he'd have to say, particularly not in this company.

Wade turns dramatically to the wall, announces, "_They were fucking for warmth._"

There's a bit of a pause and Tony can't seem to help himself when he, reluctantly, demands, "What was that?"

"What?"

"Don't 'what' me. What you did just there. Why."

"Oh, I was talking to the camera," Wade says, brighter, encouraged by all the attention. "You know, like in those reality TV shows. Though in this case it doesn't really matter where I look as long as it's narrated for them to get it. Still super funny though."

"I'm sorry I asked," decides Tony. "I regret it, honestly."

Wade stretches his shoulders in a roll, yawning. "Well, if we're not fucking—"

"We aren't," Tony says.

"Truth or Dare?" Wade presses on, ignoring that. It only gets a look from Tony, so he amends, "Okaaaaay. Uh, Two Truths and a Lie. Two Lies and a Truth. The Alphabet Game?"

"How would we play that?"

"We could write the alphabet out," Wade says.

Wade's watching the other man, his head tilted in thought. There's a stiffness to how Tony stands. He'd been hit multiple times by tentacles smashing him into walls. "You know, you can ditch the armor. I'm serious," he adds, a little more quietly. "You're hurt. Let me see it."

"I'd rather not. I like having a distance between us, you know? That isn't a metaphor. I'd rather have a great distance between us, a physical one, miles and miles of it, and in lieu of that, a literal suit of armor will work."

"Me-ow." Wade kitty-paws at the air. "Fine, if you wanna bleed out in the night. Your ghost can't haunt me though. Pinkie swear it." Wade shrugs, and nearly a minute of silence goes by before Tony speaks up.

"I can't," he says, "take the suit off alone." When Wade looks up sharply, Tony says, "I have a whole system to put it on and take it off at my landing sites."

"So this is now gratuitous strip porn. You're too hurt to take your shirt off and I help."

Tony says, "I'm going to change my mind in a second here," and Wade moves to his side.

The armor is difficult to get off, not meant for human fingers, but Wade is creative. He pulls his gloves off and finds the latches with his fingertips and opens them with a knife, unhooking the armor piece-by-piece, until Tony is able to step out. He nearly falls. His whole side is a bruise. Wade steadies him immediately with a hand to his chest, which makes Tony wince.

"Easy, Tin Can. Here, right over here. Let's take a look at you." It's a completely different Deadpool, a Wade that Tony's never seen before. He's professional, serious, as he helps Tony to take a seat on a rock. Tony had heard the mercenary took his work seriously when he felt like bothering—there was a reason, after all, that Deadpool was practically a household name—but it was hard to reconcile that with the clown who showed up at the complex weekly to annoy them. Wade's fingers checking Tony over are professional, and he prods his organs for damage and lifts his shirt to check his ribs, all without making a single crack about it.

Tony hisses a few times through the process. He has two cracked ribs, no concussion. Wade's satisfied and smirks, the professionalism sliding right back off. "Now, onto the fun stuff?"

Tony eyes him flatly, looking up, but the initial disgust over the idea is gone. "Why?"

"Why? Why not? Who wouldn't want to bang Iron Man. Or—" and an epiphany comes to Wade, his eyes light up "—maybe you want the other way around?" Tony doesn't say anything but there must be interest in his expression because Wade pounces on it. "Not the usual trope but I dig it. You like the Daddy kink?"

"You are this close to losing your sex privileges," Tony tells him.

"I'm just saying. No? Last chance."

"Alright," Tony says. "Forget it."

Wade rounds on him. "Lemme do all the work. Suckjob, then you can come in my ass. It's tight. Regeneration does wonders on the body."

"Gross. Work on your dirty talk."

"That isn't a no," Wade offers, casual. He takes a step back into Tony's space, purposeful. "Kissing?"

"Don't kiss me."

"Whatever you want, Daddy-o," Wade coos.

Wade fumbles through his pouches, coming up with a few pebbles, a single ticket to claim for prizes at Chuck E. Cheese's, a Christmas tree light bulb, a seashell, a handful of bullets, and finally a single-use packet of lube. He tears it open with his teeth, and unbuckles his belt and two of his weapons holsters in order to yank his pants down to his knees.

"I'm actually impressed you carry that," Tony comments. He's been watching with a strange detachment. The whole situation is surreal, like his body isn't his own, like they've been removed for a moment from the rest of the universe and exist only in their own little pocket of reality.

"Always be prepared," Wade agrees, and drops to his knees. One hand reaches for Tony, who is wearing jeans that are a little damp and wrinkled from being pressed under his suit. Wade's efficient, pulling him out and wrapping his hand around his length, idly playing with him while his other hand goes back for his own prep.

Tony doesn't think it's going to work, he isn't really turned on until Wade leans his head in and sucks him down eagerly. Now it's impossible to _not_ be aroused, because Wade is crass and ugly and who knows where that mouth has been, but right now that mouth is on Tony and there's no getting around it: he's talented. Wade runs his tongue up Tony's length, pulls nearly off to the tip to suckle, then deep throats him.

"Shit." Tony's panting already. His hands flatten on either side of himself, splayed over the rock serving as his seat, like he needs balance, and Wade doesn't tease him long. Once he's hard, once he's starting to ache from being buried in that heat, Wade pulls off and Tony's struck with cold air only for a second before Wade twists around, reaches behind him for Tony again, and is guiding him in.

Tony doesn't help, at all. Wade's hole is glistening with lube, and Tony watches himself as he's lined up, as his head slowly sinks in, none of his own doing. Wade lowers himself onto him in a single, long glide that has both of them groaning. Tony barely catches himself from moving his hands. "Fast," he orders, and Wade says, "You want something done right you do it yourself," and fucks himself up and down again.

It's bliss. Tony hates to admit that but it is. No one's as tight as Wade is, as hot. He's made for Tony's cock: back arched, one hand back against the stone for balance, hips rocking as he takes it greedily. Wade's hungry for it, chasing his own orgasm, little puffs of air and occasional groans escaping his lips. Tony's close, he can't not be, and Wade must sense it because he mutters, "C'mon, c'mon yeah, fill me up," and that's what sends Tony over the edge. He thrusts up, meeting Wade, cock spurting hot inside him, and Wade rides him through it then takes himself in hand. A few quick strokes and Tony feels him clenching, twitching through his own orgasm. It's too much, Tony's too sensitive for that. He grunts, a protest, and Wade's answering laugh is breathless.

Wade pulls off and cleans them both up with the baby wipes he apparently also keeps in his pouches, explaining them as "a convenient plot device" which Tony, tired from the fight and the orgasm combo, ignores. He's leaned his head back against the hard rock that serves as a wall.

Wade considers that, then sits beside him and puts an arm out, pulling Tony in, and he doesn't fight it, doesn't threaten Wade into keeping it all a secret when they're rescued, doesn't say anything. He shuts his eyes, and leans into Wade's warm chest, and just accepts it.

Surprisingly, Wade says nothing about it all too.

**Author's Note:**

> Gift-prompt for Soli of the Erotica Abyss.


End file.
